How to Protect Your Child Actor From Industry Predators

Right now, the news and social media are full of reports about sexual harassment and abuse in the entertainment industry. Last week, the teens in my acting classes were discussing the news and what they would do in uncomfortable situations. It can be a scary issue, both for young actors and their parents.

Unfortunately, sexual abuse is a real issue, primarily when people in power use their authority to prey on the young or less powerful. Predators can lurk in all settings so it’s wise for parents to help their children—male and female—know how to recognize and respond to unwanted advances.

When I was a new talent rep in my twenties, I had a parent of an important client who consistently made lewd and inappropriate comments. I told my boss, my husband, and even talked to the parent, but the abuse continued. My choices were to endure his bad behavior or fire his talented son. I didn’t want to lose my job, so I sacrificed my self-esteem and tried to ignore his behavior. That was more than twenty years ago when sexual abuse was not discussed, and few options for help existed.

Thankfully, children today have an environment where speaking up against abuse is encouraged. The Casting Society of America put out a public statement condemning harassment in all forms with the slogan, “If you see something, say something.”  SAG- AFTRA urges members who experience or observe harassing or discriminatory behavior to call a 24-hour hotline at (844) 723-3773 or (323) 549-6644. Women in Film has a useful resource for female entertainment professionals.

It is essential for parents to teach and model healthy personal boundaries at home.  Begin by explaining what sexual harassment and abuse are, especially these key points.

Sexual harassment and abuse can:

• be physical, verbal, or emotional.

• happen to boys and girls.

• be committed by an adult or peer.

Teach your child to always come to you if they feel uncomfortable or harassed. Their bodies are their own and no one should touch them without consent.

If your child experiences harassment or sexual advances, they should go to someone in charge, such as the studio teacher/child welfare worker, director or assistant director, child wrangler or guardian, stage manager, or their agent or manager. Offer to help your child make this call and participate in any meetings. You can also ask to sit in on any private acting lessons or casting calls if your child feels uncomfortable.

Have a frank discussion with your young actor about the importance of self-respect and personal boundaries. Remind them that no role is more important than their safety. Teach them about manipulation and threats used to keep things secret so they can feel safe speaking up and reporting abusive behavior.

Watch for these red flags:

• Your intuition telling you that something isn’t right.

• An adult who seems too interested in your child, gives inappropriate gifts, or wants time alone with them.

• Threats of blacklisting for lack of cooperation made to either you or your young actor.

• Unwillingness to attend callbacks or acting classes without explanation or saying that they don’t want to talk about it.

Parents, take this opportunity to teach your young actors that they don’t need to compromise their boundaries to be successful in acting or any endeavor. It’s never a bad time to talk with your child about safety, boundaries, and how to report any unwanted behavior. Your goal is not to frighten your child, but to educate and pledge your support should they ever need help.

The things you teach your child today about sexual harassment and abuse can offer them protection for their entire lifetimes.

Kids + Teens: Why Your Phone May Be Sabotaging Your Acting Career

Child and teen actors, we’re here to teach you the essential skills of acting so that you can live your dream. This is our singular intention in everything we say and do. But everyone has to begin somewhere, and today we’ll start with the key to all of your acting, the heart of what every great actor is doing: attention.

Every actor must develop their ability to give their attention fully to the other actor. This must happen without effort in every moment yet there is something working against you. It’s a powerful force and it’s strengthening in you as the very thing that goes against your desire to become a great actor.

Today is the time for you to take action or the skills you need to master will never be fulfilled. We say today because it has been our experience that many people just like you have a dream and a strong desire to do something wonderful in this life. They think about it and they talk about it, but they never actually do anything about it. Then, years later, they express a deep regret that they never lived their dream. Rather than get to that point, we like to promote the idea of urgency and action. The best, most important time to act is right now.

Like 95 percent of all people, you love your phone. We know the little screens have become an intrinsic part of the fabric of modern life. They offer many wonderful ways to communicate but in the end, face-to-face contact becomes almost obsolete. It’s true the technology helps you connect, but it does not help you cultivate deep, meaningful relationships in your life…and your acting.

Kids and teens spend so much time in the virtual world that they often lose the ability to be aware of human behavior. But if you’re serious about acting, you also know that human connection is the very basis of the art. How we behave, communicate, feel about each other, what we do to mask our feelings, cover up, avoid, sing for joy, cry in despair, leap in triumph…all of it!

So let’s begin simply and start with a return to listening. Yes, listen to each other. Give another person your complete attention. Put the phone aside and really make contact. Does the mere thought of this bring up anxiety and discomfort? Terrific! This is where the magic in acting begins: in the silence and waiting for something to happen. We want you to really feel what you’re feeling, whether it’s boredom, elation, or just time passing. All of it is ok, everything that’s really happening is ok if you can permit yourself to experience it and not judge it.

Here’s an exercise we invite you to do. Put away your phone for a day, or start with just an afternoon. Talk to your friends, family, and teachers. Ask them how they’re doing. Share how you’re doing. Really look and listen to each other.

Young Actors Need a Point of View. Here’s Why

The other day, I was working with a young student on a role she was up for in a play. The scene required her to show empathy toward her sick grandfather and she was struggling with the scene—she couldn’t relate to the situation or identify with the character since she had never experienced the illness of someone close to her.

“Point of view,” or having an opinion, attitude, or judgment about a subject, is very important for an actor. It’s that opinion that makes every actor unique as it’s what informs the choices they make for their character.

But since young actors often don’t have as much life experience to draw from, developing one can be challenging. But before embodying a character’s opinion or attitude, they must have one of their own. They need to practice feeling things so that when they step into a character’s shoes, they can do the same for the character.

As my colleague Larry Silverberg points out in his book “The 7 Simple Truths of Acting for the Teen Actor,” it’s the actor’s job “to come to grips with the character’s point of view towards the other characters in the play, toward the circumstances he or she is involved in, and toward the world in which he or she lives. If getting onto intimate terms with our character’s point of view is our job, it is important that we first get onto intimate terms with our own point of view.”

READ: How Young Actors Can Play Emotional Scenes

Developing a personal point of view is a valuable skill that will not only help kids relate to the characters they play but also learn to be themselves. Many auditions start with an interview—from young children auditioning for roles to high schoolers auditioning for college programs—and having a clear point of view always helps child actors stand out.

When I work with students who struggle to find that point of view, I make it a point to ask questions about how they’re feeling about specific people, places, and events. I have them do journaling exercises to write about how they feel about things that bring them joy or sadness, the things that scare them, the things that make them mad. Anything to draw an opinion.

I also recommend free association exercises where I ask them to riff on a person, place, or thing. They usually start slow, but it’s remarkable to see them talk and talk and eventually, start to feel something. In these exercises, there’s no right or wrong but there is a choice being made. When acting, you can’t just read the lines—you have to have an opinion, make a choice, and make it your own.

Young actors are just starting to discover themselves and the world around them, and the knowledge that life is both difficult and joyous will enrich their minds, strengthen their acting, and set them up for greater success down the road.

7 Steps to a Successful College Audition

It’s that time of year again when thousands of high school students are applying to drama and musical theater college programs nationwide. These schools get more competitive with each passing year—depending on the track, they can accept as few as 10 new students a year. Therefore, it’s a good idea to start thinking about what type of school and program you’re looking for as early as your freshman or sophomore year of high school. To help you in the process, I’ve pulled together seven steps to help you prepare for a successful audition, starting as early as that first year of high school.

1. Find the right program for you.
BFA? BA? BM? Conservatory? Emphasis on dance? Every school is different, even down to the degrees they offer. So make sure you do your research and figure out what it is you want to study for the next four years. Learn the difference between a Bachelor of Fine Arts and a Bachelor of Music. Be honest with yourself about whether you’ll want to study onlythe dramatic arts or if you want to get a full liberal arts education. Do you want to study abroad? Do you want the chance to learn how things work behind the scenes? All of these are questions you should know the answers to before starting the search as they will likely narrow the list down significantly.

Develop a list of questions to ask potential theatre departments and start visiting college campuses early. You will be spending four years there, so consider where you’ll be happy living. Decide if you want a small or large school, access to a city, and whether you want to be in driving distance or an airplane ride away from your family.

2. Prepare for your audition.
Applying to college is incredibly time-consuming: studying for and taking standardized tests, collecting transcripts and letters of recommendation, writing essays, submitting applications. But don’t forget that you need to add audition prep to this list! When I work with high school students, we begin preparing their monologues junior year so they have ample time to choose and practice their pieces wisely, and also to film the video pre-screen.

Every November, I get a frantic call from a student asking for help and though technically there is still time, it feels like a rush job. Start early.

3. Choose appropriate material.
Unless you’re applying to a non-audition program, you will need to choose several monologues and songs for musical theater. Most schools ask for two contrasting contemporary monologues. Some require a classical piece. Your pieces need to be from published plays, not monologue books, so make sure you actually read the entire play, not just your selection. Schools will be unimpressed if you don’t know the origin of your character. Find pieces you connect with, show contrast, and are age appropriate.

4. Execute songs and monologue. 
I highly recommend working with a coach on the selection and performance of your songs and monologues. Auditors don’t want to see formulaic performances—they’re looking for honesty and whether you’re present, relaxed, focused, and able to enjoy the process. In your pieces, make sure you know who you’re talking to and have a strong intention. Take the audience on a journey showing how your character changes from beginning to end.

However, it isn’t just the audition that matters. Schools with top programs aren’t easy to get into academically so grades and test scores matter! You must be accepted into the school itself to be considered for the theater or MT program. Your essay counts and may be why one candidate is chosen over another. Schools are looking for good citizens who are disciplined with an exceptional work ethic. How you interact with others in the room is important. Just like you want to be happy for the next four years, so does the faculty.

5. Be ready for the interview.
Schools can tell a lot about you from the interview. Work on your interview skills, be yourself and be ready to give thoughtful answers to questions asked. Research the school so you can speak about why you chose their program. Whether it’s the faculty, alumni, philosophy, or networking opportunities, have specifics.

6. Don’t forget the prescreen and tapings.  
Each school has its own admission process and many require a pre-screen video (due in the fall) that will determine if you get an invitation to audition. This tape showcases your acting and, if applicable, singing talent. Make sure you understand the material and are making choices. For musical theater programs, you will not get past the prescreening if you have vocal damage or pitch problems. You don’t need professional equipment to tape but make sure you are filming with no distractions and adequate lighting.

7. Get ready for audition day. 
You’ve been preparing for this day for quite some time so it’s understandable to be nervous. But make sure to leave your nerves outside or turn them into excitement and energy. Be yourself, be alive, let go of perfection, and enjoy the process you have worked so hard on while letting go of the outcome.

How Much Does It Cost to Raise a Child Star?

I have made it my living to cultivate the careers of entertainment’s next stars. It takes hard work, dedication, and a will to succeed. It also takes the tremendous support of parents, both emotionally and financially. So how much does it really cost to raise a child star? Between training, headshots and reels, equipment, and travel expenses, the answer is surprising. I’ve got the inside scoop of what parents really spend to further their child’s career.

Training
Acting is nothing without passion and hard work. Passion is what drives the necessary ingredient: the will to perfect your craft. That, like any passion, comes with a price tag. For professional child actors, the combination of private coaching, group classes, and workshop intensives average between $4,000 and $8,000 per year. I find for any child actor with professional aspirations that group classes are a must. As a child begins to frequent auditions, a private coach is imperative, as they give individualized attention to strengthen your child’s abilities and can focus on specific audition material.

If your child sings, most vocal lessons come at a hefty price tag. An average cost that my clients spend on vocal lessons is about $5,000 per year. These children are vocally gifted and require professional training to maintain their voice, especially at a time when voices change as children get older.

Most child actors have dance on their résumés, as it is a valuable skill even if they are not involved in musical theater. By the time you buy shoes, clothes, and recital costumes, dance lessons can exceed $3,000 per year.

Business Fees
If your child is in the union, apart from the $3,000 initiation fee, the average dues for SAG-AFTRA and AEA are about $150 each. They also take a percentage of total yearly earnings, 1.575 percent and 2.25 percent, respectively. Agents take a 10 percent commission on all jobs booked through their services, and managers generally take 15 percent. And don’t forget the accounting and legal fees you may incur which vary from state to state.

Portfolio
The cost for headshots averages about $375 per shoot, updated every six to 12 months as your child grows. Self-taping for remote auditions costs one family about $2,200 per year as they average four tapes per month, and four per week during pilot season. This may be excessive, and you can surely tape on your own without the help of a professional to bring the cost down. You can also take your child’s headshot with your digital camera, but there is usually a noted difference working with professionals in this competitive business—and it is this difference that may get them noticed.

Transportation + Living Expenses
One of my out-of-town clients spent approximately $3,500 per month on a one-bedroom apartment in midtown Manhattan while her child was in a Broadway show. Another chose to commute to the city at a price of $10,000 after the cost of parking, E-ZPass fees, tickets/towing, gas, and car maintenance. Transportation and living expenses can be the biggest drain on a family with a child actor. If your family lives near one of the big cities, you pay the price in property taxes and average living costs. If you live remotely, you save on the cost of living but pay in flights, road trips, and hotels. This area is a challenging one and in my opinion, requires the biggest sacrifice.

Childcare
Many of you have other children besides the aspiring or working child actor. How do you parent them successfully while tending to your young performer?

Babysitting costs average $10 per hour to a full-time nanny’s salary. Unless you have a supportive extended family, this is not an area to cut corners, as you want to support all of your children equally.

Schooling
If your child auditions regularly and works often, public school may not be the best option. They are not known for their support in excessive absences and it can be difficult to keep up with coursework. If you need alternative education for your child, fees can range from $4000 per year for online home-schooling to $35,000 per year for private school.

On average, parents are spending anywhere from $25,000–$36,000 per year to keep their children competitive in the business. Is it necessary? Yes and no. There are many successful children whose parents spend considerable sums for training and exposure within the industry. Is it the only way to break into the industry? Not necessarily. I have clients on all ends of the financial spectrum. True talent and luck have furthered the careers of countless children.

Supporting a child’s dream of performing professionally comes at a cost just like any passion. As parents, you must evaluate the cost of training, transportation, auditions, materials, as well as the opportunity cost of working full-time as opposed to devoting your work full-time to your child’s career. There isn’t a winning formula that guarantees your child’s success and your family’s happiness. It is a decision that only you and your family can make. While professional acting requires tremendous resources, it reaps countless benefits for your child and your family, as you grow together on this journey.

6 Ways for Young Performers to Obtain Representation

If your child is hungry for a life in show business, getting representation is the next step to a budding career. But how does one obtain representation? It seems like a daunting task in an incredibly competitive industry. Luckily, there are many ways in which a child can gain industry attention to secure a rep. 

In a production. It is always best to be seen in action. Agents and managers generally frequent theatrical productions, as they are always on the hunt for new talent. If your child is serious about acting professionally, make sure he is involved in school plays, community theater, and even regional theater. Reps are always looking for a child who has potential. 

Industry showcases. Industry showcases are the perfect opportunity for young performers to gain industry attention. This is an event in which agents, managers, and casting directors watch actors perform exclusively for them. Actors perform scenes, monologues, songs, and even read commercial copy. If a rep responds to the actor, they will arrange a meeting and possibly sign on a new client. Even if your child doesn’t sign with an agent or manager, they might keep their name on file to be seen again in the future. 

Workshops and classes. Many acting workshops and classes will culminate with an informal performance for an agent or manager. These are generally for educational purpose where your child will practice in audition-like settings. However, if an agent or manager sees promise in a performer, they might ask for their name to set up an interview. 

Old-fashioned mailings. Years ago agents and managers primarily gained clients through headshots and résumés mailed to them by hopeful performers. Make sure you have a great photo that looks like your child and a résumé detailing your child’s experience and training. Get a list of agents and managers who work with young performers through CallSheet and send a hard copy to them with a short cover letter. If you live outside of the big industry cities, call your local SAG-AFTRA office to get the names of reputable agents and managers.

Referrals. Perhaps you have a friend who is signed with an agency or management company. Ask them for a referral. This can get your name in the door faster than mailing lists (because they can ask questions and gain a sense of who you are from a person they’ve already trusted to sign as a client). 

Your coaches. Your acting or voice teacher can also refer you to a rep, as they have the contacts and a trusted relationship with many of them. I never pass up an opportunity to send one of my promising young students to one of my colleagues if I believe they are ready to work. Since the young actor has been vetted by me, the rep is more apt to respond. I have introduced many of my students to both agents and managers and they have continued on to have incredibly successful careers. 

There are so many ways for your child to be seen by industry professionals. What is most important during this time is to stay involved in theater and performance opportunities while continuing with ongoing training. Passion is at the heart of any career, and it’s important to keep your child’s love of performance at the center of your journey.

How Child Actors Can Get Work in Atlanta & Florida

When you have an intersection of talent, type, luck, and opportunity, you land roles. Many people think that the only opportunities are in New York or Los Angeles, but that’s just not true. The southeast has never been busier for young actors who are looking to build their resumes. Georgia, Florida, and North Carolina are really hot right now for television and films, and it’s not uncommon for a young actor to get multiple credits very quickly in this bursting-at-the-seams market.

I spoke with Lisa Mae Fincannon, CSA with Fincannon & Associates, Inc. who has offices in Georgia and North Carolina. “With the implementation of tax incentives for production, the southeast has grown dramatically. We need performers, including minors. This area of the country has a reputation for kids who are ‘real,’ who have maintained their small-town values and love of the world. Because of the core values taught in the south, young actors breathe a spirit of truth and joy that feels very real. The geography, the dirt from which these kids hail, infuses them with an ability to be unaffected and maintain a realism that is special.”

Whether or not you live in the southeast, you can take advantage of the opportunities there and increase your child actor’s chances of obtaining work when you follow these steps: 

1. Get a local agent.
Although many projects are cast out of New York and Los Angeles, agents there don’t always cover the south. Getting a local agent in the southeast will give you local casting opportunities not afforded to those outside.

Barbara Agozzino from the Stellar Talent Agency in South Florida said, “I am very excited that we are seeing a lot of new projects for kids and teens in the south Florida market. When looking for talent, I seek diversity and actors who have had some experience, whether they have done local theater/independent films or training with acting coaches and schools. I also do look at fresh faces and talent who have a passion and drive to succeed in this wonderful yet competitive business.”

READ: How to Get an Acting Agent in Atlanta

2. Train.
No matter what market you’re in, talent wins out! Take classes in acting, on-camera work, and improvisation. You will be cast off of tapes most of the time. According to agent Terri Dollar of Kids Unlimited in Raleigh, NC, “If casting a very young actor, we look for the ability to sit still, focus, and look at us directly. We look for excellent reading skills—which we determine is the #1 best determiner of potential for casting for a child actor age 5 to 10…. Reading above grade level is almost essential to success.

“If we are casting for older actors for our agency we look at the resume. If an 18-year-old girl comes to us with no acting experience, she would have to be incredibly unique to be cast as she would be competing against more experienced actors. We always look for the magic—that spark—that likability that makes you want to know more about any actor we agree to represent.”

3. Network.
Do the legwork. Don’t wait for your rep to call you. One of my teen girls has no representation. This makes her hungrier to do the work herself. She recently submitted herself for several projects through Backstage and other online sites and just booked a television pilot in her local southern market.

4. Stay well-rounded.
Many recent projects cast in the southeast—like “The Walking Dead” and “The Originals”—require stage combat or martial arts training. Special skills are always valuable. Casting doesn’t always require you to be the best actor in the room, but if you have the skills required for the part, you just may land it.

READ: 5 Tips for Effective Networking in Atlanta

5. Be flexible. 
Agent Terri Dollar in North Carolina also says, “It's super easy for our actors to tape themselves at least for the first round and then either travel to Georgia for the callback or even get cast from tape alone. Actors must be flexible and ready to travel in a flash. This ability to make things happen is paramount in a young actor's success, and much of that comes from the flexibility of the parents.”

6. Be patient and have fun.
It just may not be possible for you to move to a big city. Embrace where you are right now and look for local opportunities to help build success. What’s most important is holding on to the dream and finding things to do in the meantime that empower you and help you enjoy life. After all, that’s what it’s all about.

10 Ways to Enhance Your Child’s Skill Set

A creative career requires constant exploration and discovery. For young professionals, the routine of schoolwork, auditions, and meetings can get stale. There are so many wonderful opportunities available to young performers, and I recommend to all of my students to take advantage of them. Whether it’s taking a new class, or a DIY at home, here are 10 ways your child can spice up their professional routine and learn valuable skills along the way.

1. Enroll him in an improv class. Improvisation is a skill that will reap benefits in every area of a person’s life. It improves listening, teaches you to create a common objective with a partner, and allows you to let go. Improv will help your child learn to play with others and say yes to his instincts. It is also a valuable skill for commercials where a director can ask your child to do silly things, like pretend an onion is his best friend.

2. Challenge her to learn a new dialect. Adding skills to your child’s résumé is a key factor to getting her noticed by industry professionals. Learning dialects trains your child’s ears similar to music. An added bonus: It exposes her to new cultures and creates opportunities for learning experiences.

3. Inspire her to memorize a new monologue. It’s always good to have multiple monologues performance-ready, because in this industry, you never know what an audition may require. Working on monologues exercises all of those important acting muscles, and it’s important to keep them strong as your child is growing.

4. Work on a tough audition song. Maybe there’s a song that your child’s always loved but hasn’t had the time to devote to mastering it. Encourage her to spend a few minutes a day listening to the music and practicing it with her voice teacher during lessons. There’s nothing more satisfying than conquering a power ballad or new a comedy number.

5. Encourage him to spend quality time with his script. Remind your child that the learning doesn’t end when he leaves his coach’s studio. The desire for improvement has to come from your child. Even if he sets aside 10 minutes a day or an hour a week, the progress he will make by analyzing his script and exploring his character’s objective will transform your child’s acting.

6. Have her keep a journal of her experiences. Your child has a job most people only dream of having! Encourage her to write down the incredible experiences she has. Hard work and rejection are a part of the business. Giving your child a space to flesh out her feelings is one of the greatest gifts you can give her. It reminds her of her worth, and allows her to explore her passion for her craft in a private space.

7. Reflect on auditions in the car ride home. Some auditions go fabulously, others…not so much. That’s part of the job! Always keep an open dialogue with your child and reflect on the positives of the audition. Ask him what he thinks went well and what he can improve on. Celebrate your child’s accomplishments and remind him how proud you are that he pursues his dreams.

8. See live theater! There’s no greater joy in my life than seeing professionals excel in their craft. Theater gives her the opportunity to see her profession from a technical standpoint, but more importantly, it gives your child an opportunity to reaffirm her dreams. For all performers, live theater is a reminder to them of why they do what they do.

9. Encourage him to have fun outside of performing. Performing is your child’s passion, but for young professionals, it is also a job. It is so important for you to encourage your child’s other passions. The friends he’ll make in horseback riding or lacrosse are just as essential to building his character as his relationships are with his co-stars. The skills he’ll develop will help shape him into a thoughtful and talented adult.

10. Play, play, play. Your child is a creative soul. Even when this industry gets tough and auditions don’t seem to pay off, remember to celebrate the fact that your child is working on a dream. There’s bravery in that. Remind your child that her dreams aren’t validated by the number of roles she’s booked, but by the passion she pursued and the skills she’s developed along the way. Always remind your child to never stop playing.

How Young Actors Can Play Emotional Scenes

As an acting teacher for young actors, parents frequently ask if I can help their child cry on cue. Having once been a young actress myself, I thought this skill was the key to being a good actor. I believed it was a complicated technique that only the most skilled and talented had mastered. 

Then during a college lecture with actress Jean Marsh as the guest, she was asked about crying on cue. In her very British accent, she responded, “I just turn around and poke myself in the eye.” It was then that I realized it was pretty simple. Simple, yes, but not easy.

Emotions like sadness and anger may come naturally for some, but for many young actors, producing real emotion is an acquired skill. It’s not the real tears that are of concern—that’s what glycerin drops are for. Rather, it’s finding and applying the honest emotional life of the character.

There’s a term in the industry called “indicating,” which is when an actor plays a scene showing but not connecting to the emotional life of the character. Good actors communicate real emotions, not pretend ones. But remember that preparing for an emotionally challenging scene can be deeply personal, so you’ll want to make sure your child actor is going about it the right way. 

Here are some tips to help your child learn the necessary skills and let go of fake emoting habits.

Be physically open.  
All good acting classes begin with exercises to relax and physically open up the body and mind. Body constrictions will get in the way of emotions flowing freely and organically. Before auditioning or performing any scene that calls for emotions such as grief, rage, hatred, or jealousy, relax by doing some head and neck rolls, stretches and breathing exercises. Just a few deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth will relax the body and mind, helping you stay open to letting things happen naturally.

Have a strong preparation. 
You cannot play a scene emotionally empty. Once you identify what the character is feeling—mad, sad, lonely, etc.—connect with the emotion before the scene begins by using the “as if.” Ask yourself how you would feel if this were happening to you. Or what similar situation could you have faced in the past or imagine to be true that would feel as if you were going through the same thing? 

READ: 1 Exercise Child Actors Can Use to Get Into Character 

Music.  
As an actress during the 1980s, one of the ways I tapped into my character’s emotional life was through music. I would put my Walkman on and play a song that triggered a specific emotion and got me into the right mindset. Make a playlist on your phone with your favorite songs and different styles that you can use to stir up emotion.

Don’t push.  
If the scene calls for the character to be in tears and the tears won’t flow, don’t force it. If you are so concerned with how you are going to cry it probably won’t happen. Connect internally, relax and stay open. And of course, don’t forget the advice of Ms. Marsh: turn around and poke yourself in the eye if you have to. What’s most important is honest vulnerability, not something fabricated.

How Auditioning is Just Like Dating

Have you kissed a lot of frogs lately? How many dates do you have to go on to find “the one”?

I’m currently exploring the world of online dating and have found a surprising parallel: first dates are a lot like auditions. Whether you’re looking for a role you love or the next love of your life, you have to go on lots of auditions before you find the perfect fit. Online dating, auditioning, or both, these tips offer valuable information you can use in either situation!

You can’t control the outcome. 
When you go on a first date, you only know the basics: height, age, whether they like dogs, etc. Auditions are also big unknowns. An actor often walks into an audition with basic information and is asked to perform without knowing much about the context. Just like hoping “he’s the one,” this is scary, exciting, and a fact of life for actors. Sometimes all you can do is show up to the audition—or the date—ready to be your best.

A good photo is your calling card. 
Your photo is the first step in getting someone’s attention. Having an up-to-date, flattering photo is essential for both attracting dates and those in the entertainment industry. Your headshot will be reviewed by casting directors, potential agents, and managers. Be sure it portrays you at your best but isn’t airbrushed or faked in any way. People want to see the real you!

READ: 7 Tips for a Better Headshot

Be your unique yourself. 
Told a little white lie about how you love to rock climb and now find yourself in a harness and safety helmet on a date? What about fibbing and listing stage combat as a special skill on your actor resume only to find yourself asked to spar with someone during an audition?

In both dating and auditioning, you need to be your unique, perfect self. No matter how talented and amazing a performer you may be, casting choices are often based on arbitrary traits. Your job is to show up ready to audition honestly with your unique interpretation of the material.

Remember that they want it to work out, too.
He shares your interests, is adorable, smart, and witty. You like this guy already, but now you’re worried he won’t feel the same way and you work yourself into a negative spiral before the first date even happens.

News flash! He wants you to be the one, too. It’s the same way in auditions; no one wants you to fail. Casting directors are on your side, hoping that you’ll be perfect for the part. You don’t need to fear them.

Stop trying and let it go. 
My mother tells me love will happen when I least expect it. I think she’s right. Your next part will come along in the same mysterious way. Stop trying so hard. Yes, you need to study your lines, work with your coach, and understand the character. Preparation is always important. However, try to relax and enjoy the process. The sooner you can let go of disappointment over a lost role, the sooner you can move on to the next audition.

READ: 10 Attitudes That Keep Actors From Working

It’s great practice. 
Last month, I went on what felt like a million dates and sometimes I really just felt like giving up. But then I remember my 98-year-old aunt telling me, “Just keep going, it’s good practice for when the right one comes along.” And she’s right: I learn more about myself with every first date.

The same is true for auditioning. Each time you audition, you have the opportunity to learn more about yourself and your craft. Pay attention and keep notes on all you’re learning. The information will be very helpful.

Don’t give up before it happens. 
I dated a lot in my twenties. Just when I thought I might never meet the one, I met my husband. We had a nice long run (although I’m back on the market again). Just like dating, the odds of landing a role are pretty slim. There are often hundreds of actors answering the call for an audition, yet only one will be cast. Every actor faces the same overwhelming odds and the likelihood of rejection. That means you might have to go on 50 first auditions and get hundreds of rejections for every part you do land. Just remember that every “no” gets you that much closer to a “yes.” Actors are rejected many times before finding the right role at the right time with the right people. Success comes to those who stay positive and continue auditioning with confidence.