4 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Buy Your Child Stardom

With the recent media expose about wealthy parents who allegedly bribed and lied to purchase college admission for their children, my students and I have had many discussions about fairness, responsibility, and accountability. My students were angry. Kids are refreshingly honest and forthright. They know the difference between earning something and getting it in an underhanded way. They said “I work my butt off to get into a good school. I don’t want someone to get my spot just because their parents have more money than mine do.”

But parents can be tempted to do whatever they can to help their child succeed. This is true especially in acting where it can be hard to find opportunities, particularly if you live outside a big city. Over the years I’ve worked with students from all over the world and some of them are connected to influential people who have used those connections to meet directors, casting directors, and agents. There’s nothing wrong with using your contacts to open a door for your child.

However, if you try to buy your child stardom you’re not doing them any favors. In fact, you may cause lasting damage to their self-confidence and future. Here’s why:

1. You won’t teach them that hard work reaps great rewards.
There is no joy without struggle and no success in acting without preparation, practice, and training. Being an actor may look easy, but it’s hard work. When your child puts in the time and effort to win a role and perform it well, the applause they hear will be sweet and stick with them throughout their life.

2. Your child may lack readiness.
If you get your child an audition or meeting with industry professionals, you must make sure your young actor is ready. If they are not well prepared and trained, you’re doing them a disservice. While you may hear stories about overnight success and instant stardom, those stories are generally misleading.

3. You send a message that you don’t believe in their capabilities.
If you do the work for your child or help them take shortcuts to success, you’re inadvertently sending the message that you don’t believe they have the skill or power to earn their success. Young actors learn life lessons from the process of auditioning like failing, succeeding, and preparation. Acting teaches self-discipline, risk-taking, managing disappointment, organization, and teamwork. Your child can only learn those valuable lessons via direct experience.

4. You will take away their pride.
Just imagine how the students whose parents apparently bought their way into college must feel. Those teens are most likely embarrassed, ashamed, and have lost confidence in their own skills. Shame is devaluing and teaches kids that they’re not worthy or good enough. Acting requires enormous effort and helps students realize their potential for success. They’ll carry that sense of pride with them in the future because they’ve developed confidence in their ability to achieve goals. Success comes from believing in yourself and your abilities. As an acting teacher, I don’t teach my students what to say or how to say it. Instead, I show them how to find answers within themselves, instilling confidence. After all, only confident actors get hired.

Since this topic is currently in the news, I recommend taking the opportunity to talk with your young actor about the value of hard work. Have a talk over dinner or ice cream about what they’re learning while acting, and how those lessons support them now and in the future. Ask questions like: Do you think acting has changed you? Is it easier now to set and accomplish your goals? What do you like most about the process of auditioning? What’s the hardest thing about not getting a part? What tasks in school feel more comfortable now that you’ve been studying acting?

You don’t have to ask these questions all in one sitting or make this discussion uncomfortable. Instead, when an opportunity arises, help your child consider the life lessons they’re reaping from acting.

And, if you’re wondering how you can help them succeed in this business without doing it for them? Support them, love them, and drive them where they’re going. Just let them steer the bus.

Young Actors Should Be Their Own Entrepreneurs + How to Do It

Your dreams of becoming a working actor and thrilling people with your performance drive you forward. Acting is a creative art but they call it “show business” because it is a business, so consider yourself the CEO of your career, be your best advocate, and stay invested.  

You spend a lot of time taking classes, being available for last-minute auditions, and making choice about your activities. There are also legal, financial, educational, and organizational things you can learn over time as you gradually take more responsibility for your career, schedule, and even finances. 

As a young actor, it’s likely you’re surrounded by a team of parents, coaches, managers, and agents. All of these adults are invested in your career, but none have the same level of investment as you. To make sure you’re taking full entrepreneurial control of your own career, follow these tips. 

Take charge.
Start by writing down your goals and what you want to achieve in this business. Stop relying on your parents to do it all. Young actors who understand the decision making, diligence, and sacrifice necessary to pursue an acting career gain more confidence. 

Call your agent or manager yourself and ask what auditions might be coming up for you. Maybe it’s been slow or you want to pow-wow about what you can be doing to get things going. You will feel more in control, focused, and determined by understanding expectations and taking responsibility yourself. 

READ: How to Manage Your Child Actor

Have an acting allowance.  
Budgeting, goal setting, and understanding financial obligations are essential life skills. Ask your parent to help you learn about taxes, deductions, and bookkeeping. Make a plan and create a list of all the equipment and supplies you will need to be successful, then discuss a monthly allowance for pictures, classes, demo reels, new dance shoes, self-taping equipment, audition attire, theater tickets, etc. 

Get organized.   
Casting directors look for young actors who are focused and disciplined. Keep a list of everyone you’ve met, follow up with thank you notes after a great audition or a meeting with a potential rep. Stay in touch with fellow actors—You never know when they might recommend you to their agent. Do your research on auditions and opportunities. Put your smartphone to good use and log mileage, receipts, and appointments. Upload sides, keep an audition log and create an online acting notebook. 

When you take steps toward making career decisions and learning about business expectations and responsibilities, you’ll start to feel in control of your future in an industry that doesn’t offer many opportunities to feel in control. You can’t control decisions made by casting directors, your body type, or even your vocal quality but you can manage your schedule, which auditions you pursue, and some of the required paperwork and record keeping.  

You may decide later that show business is not for you but the entrepreneurial skills you glean will be valuable in whatever career you select later in life.

8 Ways Acting Can Help You Excel in School

Last month, I wrote about how parents disempower their children by doing work for them whether it’s writing college essays, completing homework, or using personal contacts to secure roles. It inspired a discussion between me and my students, who spoke about how what they learned pursuing an acting career has helped them in life—especially in school. Here’s how acting can help students excel: 

1. You learn how to listen.
Acting requires listening. Not just scrunching up your face to look like you’re listening, but actually listening to your partner. Becoming a good listener helps you retain information, which will help with tests and other assignments. Being a good listener can also improve friendships, making school life more enjoyable. 

2. You learn to speak with confidence.
Students are regularly required to give oral reports, class presentations, and participate in high school and college interviews. Memorizing lines and being able to connect to a person or an audience is just the practice needed for excellent public speaking skills. Acting will give you the confidence required to do presentations without fear.

3. You learn to set and reach goals.
Being an actor demands a lot. You have to learn to juggle homework and school obligations while memorizing lines and doing work for acting and voice classes, all while still making time for friends and family. This balancing act requires planning, time management skills, and accountability. Working long hours on set or in rehearsal also requires discipline. All these skills are essential to success in the classroom as you have to manage assignments and make sure you complete them on time.

4. You learn to manage stress.
Working in theater or film requires travel, long hours, and managing school, home life, and the emotional letdown after a show closes. Learning how to deal with all of this stress sets you up for the challenges of day-to-day life. When you practice leaving your nerves and anxiety outside the door, letting go of control, and relaxation techniques in acting class, you’re gathering valuable tools for managing any type of stress.

READ: How to Manage Your Child Actor

5. You learn to think on your feet.
Improvisation training is part of an actor’s life. It provides a competitive edge that leads to success inside and outside of the classroom. It improves listening, working spontaneously, conquering fears, and working collaboratively. Improv helps you get out of your head and engage without second-guessing, making you a more confident student and person. 

6. You learn to cope with rejection and disappointment.
All actors face rejection. Lots of rejection. Over time, you learn resilience, that life is not always fair or easy, and that reaching your goals requires effort and perseverance. This resilience makes it easier to manage traditional school rejection such as not getting a grade you expected, being cut from a team, or turned down for a date. These rejections can be devastating for some kids. However, young actors have already developed the ability to hear a “no” and keep on trying.

7. You learn to focus.
Have you ever fallen asleep while the teacher is speaking? Caffeine may be one way to stay awake, but learning to stay engaged is more effective. The skills you develop while practicing connecting to your acting partners also show you how to pay attention and focus in school. This is just what you need for those long lectures! 

8. You learn to grow more comfortable in your skin.
Acting helps you own your individuality and care less about what others think. You develop confidence and pride in your accomplishments. In acting, you learn to accept who you are and how you fit into the world, as well as the importance of each cast member, the hero, the villain, or the goofy best friend. This awareness helps to develop empathy as you study what it is really like to become another person.

Succeeding in school is challenging. All your experiences, including rehearsing and performing, enrich your academic performance in a variety of ways. Acting is not an academic distraction, but a powerful way to strengthen your chances of academic success while you’re having a great time!

4 Questions To Ask An Agent or Manager

I recently produced an industry showcase for unrepresented actors. Twelve very talented performers did what they do best - perform! I am proud to announce that many were contacted for “stage two": The interview.

The interview is the time to personally interact and see if you and the agency or management company are the right fit for each other. It’s kind of like a first date. Sure, you may be nervous. You may be thinking, “If I am just plain old me, will I make enough of an impression?" Your best bet is to be prepared, but also be yourself. Look your best without trying too hard. Relax and have a good time. This is supposed to be fun, remember?

Before the meeting, think about some questions to get the conversation going. In my previous article on assembling your team, I suggested some contractual questions. Here are some more conversation starters to consider.

1. What type do you see me as? 
This is a really important question and one that needs addressing before signing. You may think you can play the leading lady but your potential rep sees you as a character actress. Now is the time to get on the same page. Discuss whether or not you will be sent out on theater as well as television and film auditions. Do you both agree that comedy is your thing? And if it is, will you still be considered for one-hour dramas and film as well? If you are interested in pursuing commercials and voiceovers, find out who within the agency handles that.

2. How many clients do you have and how many are my type? 
Agencies and management companies come in all sizes. Some have a handful of clients; some have hundreds. Find out how many other represented clients are your type and how that might affect you getting submitted for projects.

3. How do you feel about me submitting myself for projects? 
There are many ways these days to find out about projects on your own. There are open calls listed in Backstage and plenty of resources on the Internet. While your potential rep will work hard for you in securing auditions, there may be times when you find something that he or she does not know about it. Ask how they like to handle this. What about student films? Find out if they are open to you pursuing these leads on your own. Remember you are part of the team, and it’s nice to know they are a team player.

4. Do you recommend photographers, acting, voice or dance teachers? 
There are a plethora of photographers and teachers out there. Ask what this potential rep thinks of your current headshot. Who takes their clients’ fabulous pictures? Find out where some of their other clients study acting, voice or dance. It’s always great to get a personal recommendation when you can.

Remember, good teamwork is just as important for an actor as it is for a star basketball player. Doing your research, knowing what questions to ask, and gaining a good understanding of how an agent or manager can represent you will help you choose the very best rep to be a part of YOUR winning team.

12 Film Set Terms Every Actor Needs to Know

You just landed a role in a film—congratulations! If you’ve only ever acted on a stage, know that film sets are very different from the theater, and your first few days on set may be intimidating. Between all the people, equipment, and terminology on a film set, it’s easy to get overwhelmed but if you know a few basics, you’ll already have a leg up.

Last month, I spoke about different crew positions you should be aware of and today, we’re going to talk phrases and lingo you’re likely to hear during filming. Be familiar with them before you step on set and you’ll be more confident when you do land that film role. 

Action: This is the director’s cue for the actors and/or acting to begin. As an actor, you must be ready at all times—no checking your phone or goofing around. It’s important to be prepared so that when you hear “action,” you’re ready to act. 

Call time: The time you must be on set or location and ready to work. Call times are generally not given until the night before. Check your email and phone regularly to ensure you read all communications from set. If you’re late or miss a call, you may have lost your chance to work with the director again. 

Cheat: You may hear, “We’re going to cheat you in a little for this shot.” A cheat is a special shot where angles are used to get interesting shots of people or objects. If you’re in a cheated shot, you’ll be asked to move off to one side to get the required shot. Someone will instruct you where to stand.

Cut: This signifies the end of a take and a call to stop the action. It’s crucial for the actor to keep the acting and action going until the director calls “cut” or they risk messing up a great shot. It is never up to the actor to stop what they’re doing without the “cut” call from the director. This is also true in auditioning. I’ve seen many actors cut a scene prematurely because they flubbed a line or weren’t happy with what they were doing and in the process, they waste a great take.

Dirtying the frame: A director has many choices for how a scene is shot. If you hear “dirty shot,” it means there is some physical intrusion like a body part of another actor to give a sense of distance between two actors. It may also be used to create a power differential between actors. If a dirty shot is called, you may need to cheat your height a bit to get the correct angle in the shot. 

Key light: A light trained on you. An actor should always know the location of their key light so they can play to it. You may have a wonderful acting moment and be in the wrong position but a simple adjustment can make everyone happy and ensure you have a great shot.

READ: 9 Tips for Your First Time on Set

Lenses: If you hear the director of photography or director talking about lenses, they’re talking about the width of the shot. Some lens shoot wide angles and they have a low number. A higher numbered lens is for closeup work. The most common lenses used for shots are 14-35mm wide/medium, 50-65mm medium, and 85-135mm closeup.

Pick up: Re-filming part of a scene from a specific point in the action where only part of a take is done again with dialogue or action. A pick up may be used to correct a mistake or film additional material. For the actor, this means listening attentively and being ready for an action called. 

Quiet on set: Complete silence. Any movement or sound can spoil the shot, and that can be costly. You don’t want to be the one responsible for ruining a great shot by making noise. 

Rolling: Action is about to begin as the cameras (and/or sound) are rolling to film a take. It’s also another signal to pay close attention and be quiet. 

Standby: When you hear these words, it means to hold your position for a temporary delay and be prepared for rolling. You must be emotionally ready at all times so you can step into your character’s shoes. Standing by or holding means you will pause, stay in character, and be ready to continue when action is called again. 

Wrap: The director is satisfied with the work and the shoot is finished. 

Filming involves hundreds of moving parts and people. Long hours are required. Each new take translates to more costs. Knowing film lingo will help you play your part in helping the production run smoothly. You will look and feel like a real professional on the set when you have an understanding of what’s going on, are well prepared, and listen carefully to direction. Your professionalism will make you an actor who directors want to work with.

A Director Offers Tips on Helping Your Child Actor Find Success

Did you know that your behavior influences your child actor’s opportunities?

In my more than 30 years of teaching, coaching, and directing child and teen actors, I’ve seen parents who unknowingly sabotage their child’s ability to get parts. Those parents weren’t intentionally harming their child’s career. They just lacked insider information about what directors and casting directors are looking for when they screen young actors.

My long-time colleague Matt Lenz is a theater director based in New York who has worked with child actors on Broadway, in touring productions, and in regional theater. Most notably, Matt directed the national tour of “A Christmas Story.” He has also worked on “Billy Elliot,” “Hairspray,” “Beauty and the Beast,” and “The Sound of Music,” all shows with multiple child and teen cast members. I spoke with Matt recently and asked him to give me the scoop on what he looks for in child actors and their parents.

Matt and I both agree that working with young actors is different than working with adults. “I can’t believe how skilled and intuitive some young actors can be,” said Matt. He always chats with young talent and gauges their ease, ability to be in the moment, and how they can relate to adults. “It can be a hard test for a child to connect with adults and not be overly precocious,” Matt shared. He finds that a child who can be natural and authentic will be most successful.

Over-coaching your child is the biggest mistake you can make. “It is hard to break some kids who are over-prepped and over-rehearsed,” says Matt. “It is helpful when kids come into rehearsal with their lines memorized but not OK when I see kids make gestures that their parents coached them to do.” Directors like Matt can readily spot young talent who come to an audition highly coached.

Caution to parents: Please don’t coach your child if you don’t know what you are doing. It won’t help them in the audition room or during a performance. (I’ve written about the dangers of over-coaching previously.)

Directors like Matt cast young talent with enthusiasm and a strong desire to act. They also want a child who can stay focused and in the moment as well as connect honestly with the character. Too much pushing for perfection by parents can stress a child and harm their enthusiasm and joy for acting.

As for newcomers, I asked Matt if a lack of experience would prevent a child from being cast. He replied, “Absolutely not. Everyone has to start somewhere.” If your child is inexperienced and cast in a role, directors will often cast a more experienced actor as a cover or understudy.

Many of us who work with children have also worked with “parents from hell,” well-meaning people who are pushy, demanding, or unrealistic about their child’s skills or fit for certain parts. It is a difficult situation for everyone. Be aware that creative teams evaluate parents during auditions as well as the youth. If you are difficult, you may very well cost your child the part he or she so desperately wants.

Instead, be open to conversations and working with directors to create the best possible experience for your child as well as the show. Parents need to accept direction too! If you can demonstrate a sense of humor, a flexible approach, and a willingness to take suggestions, you will be the kind of a parent directors love to work with.

Be aware that when your child or teen is cast in a production, it requires a commitment from the entire family. There are long hours of rehearsals, travel, and coordination with school and other activities. Your child may need to give up sports or time with friends to honor their commitment to the production. Parents who are good role models can help their young actor as well as their entire family cope with the challenges and changes that will occur during a show.

Your child has a dream of being in the spotlight and soaking in the applause after a successful performance. By using the tips mentioned above you can help make that dream come true.

6 Books Every Actor Should Have on the Shelf

“Acting for Dummies” is the silliest name for a book on acting because acting is certainly NOT for dummies. It takes a real education to look natural in front of an audience or camera. As an acting coach, my teaching style consists of myriad techniques learned over the years from some very gifted teachers in the industry. This mix is also reflected in my reading list. Between my Kindle and my bedside table, I have perused and read far too many books to list in one article. However, I’d like to recommend six must-haves for aspiring and working actors alike.

1. “Audition” by Michael Shurtleff
I consider this book to be the bible for aspiring actors. If you are just beginning your acting career, this is a great place to start! It covers everything you need to know to get the part. Mr. Shurteff’s twelve infamous guideposts have influenced my own work in developing my simple technique to help actors learn how to direct themselves. From relationships to finding the love and humor in the scene, Shurtelff’s steps will help you nail your audition every time.

2. “Meisner on Acting” by Sanford Meisner
Meisner or Method? That is the question. Well, it may not really be an either/or. It’s often insightful to know both. Although I did not train with Sanford Meisner, I was fortunate enough to study with many teachers, including Wynn Handman, who were Meisner disciples. In this gem, Meisner gives it to you straight on how to livetruthfully in the moment under imaginary circumstances. Your library is not complete without this one.

3. “Respect for Acting” by Uta Hagen
Simple and straightforward, Uta Hagen’s profound book has helped generations of actors hone their craft. She introduces a series of exercises to help the actor connect to the moment, fellow actors, and the audience. “Who am I?” “What do I want?” and “What is my relationship?” are three of the nine questions explored to define your character’s role specifically. Hagen also includes invaluable advice about stage nerves and how to stay fresh in a long run.

4. “An Actor Prepares” by Constantin Stanislavsky
Funny at times, this book takes the actor through Stanislavsky’s self-developed system which helps the actor to master his craft as well as stimulate creativity and imagination. Now referred to as "method acting," the book includes a variety of exercises and some autobiographical experiences that focus on relaxation, concentration, and techniques that will help get the actor into character. Emotional memory and the “magic if” explored in his book laid the groundwork for much of the great acting today.

5. “Improvisation for the Theatre” by Viola Spolin
Considered the mother of improvisation, Viola Spolin developed a series of acting exercises and theater games to free the actor’s creativity, allowing play beyond the scene. Many modern improv groups such as Second City utilize Spolin’s techniques. If you want to learn truthful acting and how to be in the moment, add this to your library to make it complete.

6. “Actions: The Actor’s Thesaurus” by Marina Calderone
Acting means TO DO. Thousands of action words are alphabetized and categorized to help you find what you are doing in every beat. This book will help you play specific actions and get away from making general choices.

So there you have it! My six top picks no actor should be caught without. Master your craft, empower yourself, and enjoy the journey.

What is the Proper etiquette for Auditions and Working?

Q: What is the proper etiquette when it comes to auditioning and working? What do my child and I need to be mindful of?

A: Here’s a great list of points to remember that will keep you prepared and looking professional:

AUDITIONS:

•  Ask your agent what clothing is appropriate.

• Don’t forget pictures, your resumé, and anything else you’ve been asked to bring.

• Check in with whomever you need to.

• Be mindful of other actors preparing for their auditions, but don’t socialize with them. Concentrate on you! (Without being rude of course.)

• For callbacks, don’t change your child’s clothes/appearance. Why tamper with what worked?

ON THE JOB

•  Know the rules and regulations regarding the employment of minors. You’re responsible for your child’s safety and welfare!

• Bring your child’s social security card, work permit, and identification number as well as any other required information or documentation.

• Sign the contract before your child begins work. Speak to your agent if you have any questions/concerns about it.

• Bring at least three hours of schoolwork if your child is being tutored on set.

IN GENERAL:

•  Be professional and courteous.

• If there is informational material available ahead of time, get it and be VERY familiar with it!

• Know exactly where you have to be well before the appointment date. It never hurts to check it out beforehand, including parking options, etc.

• Arrive at least 30 minutes early! You’ll be surprised to realize how much more relaxed you and your child will feel when you’re not rushing.

• Only you and your child should attend the audition. Don’t bring other children, relatives, pets, etc.

• Never leave your child unattended, but don’t get in the way of the set and its workers.

• Speak up if you are concerned about anything. You can always speak to an agent or the union under whose jurisdiction you’re working.

Ask Denise: How to Help Your Child Actor Memorize Lines Quickly

Q: My 10-year-old daughter just landed a role in a short film that begins filming in three weeks. What’s the best way to help her memorize her lines before then? —@dramamomma, Backstage Community Forums*

When it comes to memorizing lines, the way your child learns the words is just as important as the way she performs them. I’ve found that learning lines by rote is the best, most effective way.

This means rewriting the lines completely free of stage direction and punctuation; basically, as a long run-on sentence. This way, your daughter learns the words without meaning and without concern for how she will deliver them. Since punctuation and stage directions are the first things that lead an actor to a predetermined and intellectual way of performing, removing them allows her to solely memorize and then instill her own take on them.

In real life, people rarely talk with any notion of punctuation. It happens on its own as they’re speaking and is based on what’s happening at that moment. The same must be true in acting, and memorizing by rote will help your daughter give a more natural performance.

To start, read the scene very slowly with your daughter. Have her listen and respond, learning the words as best as she can. Then move on to line rehearsal, where she’ll spit the words out mechanically without any pauses. If she pauses or messes up, have her start again. In line rehearsal, there’s no acting; it’s just a great way to get stronger and stronger in knowing the words.

When It’s Not Fun Anymore

My students tell me they act because they love stepping into a character’s shoes and making an audience laugh or cry. Acting makes them happy, fills them up and provides fun. I’m so glad they are not doing it for the fame or fortune, both of which are fleeting and may never happen. It’s hard work to make it as an actor and requires dedication, persistence, and fortitude. However, if your son or daughter isn’t having fun while acting, it may be time to make some changes.

Many kids start acting as a fun and fulfilling hobby but then realize it’s a profession. Showbusiness is fraught with anxiety, rejection and financial concerns. It can place a lot of stress on youth and families.

I teach a serious but fun course of study; I design classes and workshops for the disciplined young actor committed to their craft. However, I make sure to keep the element of fun in the class work. If acting isn’t fun, why bother? Why would anyone want to face the rigorous demands of an acting profession if they’re not enjoying the process?

Casting directors and directors are looking for actors who are engaged and find the fun, passion, and aliveness in what they’re doing. Audiences want to fall in love with the actors. When a young actor is missing the passion, he won’t be able to connect with or delight the audience. So how do you know when it’s not fun anymore? Here are some of the signs to recognize if your child is burning out and may require some action:

• No desire to go to acting classes or workshops

• Turning down auditions

• Not memorizing lines or completing class assignments

• Exhaustion

• A high level of stress

• Little enthusiasm for anything related to acting

If your young actor is exhibiting any of these signs, it’s time for you to talk with them about how they feel about acting now. Ask if they’re having fun and want to continue or if they’d like to take a break and be a “regular kid” for a while.

It can be difficult for some parents to realize their young actor is burned out or ready to stop acting. You have invested time, money, and effort into their acting career, just as they have. However, loving parents realize that change is good for development and growth.

If your child isn’t having fun with acting any longer, celebrate together the good memories and skills gleaned from acting. Talk about the life lessons they learned and how those lessons can help them going forward. Support your child in taking a break from acting. Let her know she can decide to return when she’s ready or let it go to pursue another interest.

When the passion for acting is gone, it’s time to take a break. When you support your young actor in following their passion—whether it’s for acting or not—you are doing the very best possible parenting job, even if it’s not fun for you!