How Auditioning is Just Like Dating

Have you kissed a lot of frogs lately? How many dates do you have to go on to find “the one”?

I’m currently exploring the world of online dating and have found a surprising parallel: first dates are a lot like auditions. Whether you’re looking for a role you love or the next love of your life, you have to go on lots of auditions before you find the perfect fit. Online dating, auditioning, or both, these tips offer valuable information you can use in either situation!

You can’t control the outcome. 
When you go on a first date, you only know the basics: height, age, whether they like dogs, etc. Auditions are also big unknowns. An actor often walks into an audition with basic information and is asked to perform without knowing much about the context. Just like hoping “he’s the one,” this is scary, exciting, and a fact of life for actors. Sometimes all you can do is show up to the audition—or the date—ready to be your best.

A good photo is your calling card. 
Your photo is the first step in getting someone’s attention. Having an up-to-date, flattering photo is essential for both attracting dates and those in the entertainment industry. Your headshot will be reviewed by casting directors, potential agents, and managers. Be sure it portrays you at your best but isn’t airbrushed or faked in any way. People want to see the real you!

READ: 7 Tips for a Better Headshot

Be your unique yourself. 
Told a little white lie about how you love to rock climb and now find yourself in a harness and safety helmet on a date? What about fibbing and listing stage combat as a special skill on your actor resume only to find yourself asked to spar with someone during an audition?

In both dating and auditioning, you need to be your unique, perfect self. No matter how talented and amazing a performer you may be, casting choices are often based on arbitrary traits. Your job is to show up ready to audition honestly with your unique interpretation of the material.

Remember that they want it to work out, too.
He shares your interests, is adorable, smart, and witty. You like this guy already, but now you’re worried he won’t feel the same way and you work yourself into a negative spiral before the first date even happens.

News flash! He wants you to be the one, too. It’s the same way in auditions; no one wants you to fail. Casting directors are on your side, hoping that you’ll be perfect for the part. You don’t need to fear them.

Stop trying and let it go. 
My mother tells me love will happen when I least expect it. I think she’s right. Your next part will come along in the same mysterious way. Stop trying so hard. Yes, you need to study your lines, work with your coach, and understand the character. Preparation is always important. However, try to relax and enjoy the process. The sooner you can let go of disappointment over a lost role, the sooner you can move on to the next audition.

READ: 10 Attitudes That Keep Actors From Working

It’s great practice. 
Last month, I went on what felt like a million dates and sometimes I really just felt like giving up. But then I remember my 98-year-old aunt telling me, “Just keep going, it’s good practice for when the right one comes along.” And she’s right: I learn more about myself with every first date.

The same is true for auditioning. Each time you audition, you have the opportunity to learn more about yourself and your craft. Pay attention and keep notes on all you’re learning. The information will be very helpful.

Don’t give up before it happens. 
I dated a lot in my twenties. Just when I thought I might never meet the one, I met my husband. We had a nice long run (although I’m back on the market again). Just like dating, the odds of landing a role are pretty slim. There are often hundreds of actors answering the call for an audition, yet only one will be cast. Every actor faces the same overwhelming odds and the likelihood of rejection. That means you might have to go on 50 first auditions and get hundreds of rejections for every part you do land. Just remember that every “no” gets you that much closer to a “yes.” Actors are rejected many times before finding the right role at the right time with the right people. Success comes to those who stay positive and continue auditioning with confidence.

16 (More) Terms for Parents of Child Actors

Last month, I offered up some useful terminology as it relates to auditions and scripts for child actors. Here, I address some of the daunting terms related to contracts, finances, and union matters. Hopefully, it will help you feel more confident when you’re meeting with an industry professional, in an audition with your child, or on a theater, film, or television set.

Commissions: Percentage of a performer’s earnings which are paid to an agent or manager for their services.

Coogan account: Named after child actor Jackie Coogan, this is a blocked minor trust account required by law for all performers under the age of eighteen in the states of California, New York, Louisiana, and New Mexico, designed to safeguard 15% of their gross earnings per project for when they enter adulthood.

Emancipated Minor: When a child under the age of 18 has been given the legal status of an adult by a judge.

Equity: Actors Equity Association (AEA) is the union governing live theatrical productions.

First Refusal: A non-contractual courtesy situation requesting that a performer notifies the casting director before accepting a booking for another job on the same day.

Hold (On Hold): A contractual obligation for a performer to be available for work.

READ: How Child Actors Can Get Work in Atlanta & Florida

Local hire: An actor hired locally for a production, which eliminates costs for travel, housing, and per diem.

Must Join: If it has been 30 days since your first SAG/AFTRA booking, you MUST join the union before your next union job.

Principal: A performer with lines or with significant importance to the story line. 

Residual: The fee paid to a performer for subsequent showings of a commercial, film, or TV program.

Right-to-work states: Those states that do not have an agreement between unions and performers meaning you don’t have to join the union to get a job.

SAG/AFTRA: Screen Actors Guild/Actors Federation of Television and Radio Artist, the union governing television, radio, and film productions.

Scale: The minimum payment for services under union contracts.

Scale + 10: Minimum payment plus an extra 10% to cover the agent’s commission.

READ: Should You Manage Your Child's Career?

Series regular: An actor in a role in a TV series appearing in most if not all of the episodes.

Taft-Hartley: A federal statute which allows a 30-day grace period after an actor’s first day of employment before being required to join the Union.

U-5 (or Under 5): A role with “under five lines.”

Work permit: Issued by a state or local agency, a required legal document allowing a minor child under the age of eighteen to work on creative or artistic projects.

Now you have a general overview of the key terms you’ll hear regularly in legal and contractual discussions. However, if you don’t understand something, be sure to ask for clarification. It’s important that you’re clear on things so you can be the best support you can be for your child actor.

How to Know if Your Child Is Passionate About Acting or if It’s a Phase

If your child is passionate about acting, you know it. They’re regularly performing around the house, to real or imaginary audiences. They’re talking about movies and plays and asking how they can star in them. When there is a play at school or in the community, they’re the first to volunteer for a “big part.” They sparkle on stage or in front of a classroom, perhaps even getting into trouble for being the class clown. If there is a spotlight anywhere nearby, your child wants to be in it.

In my years of experience working with young actors, their passion for the craft of acting is unmistakable. Children with the dream choose acting because they have no other choice. It’s in their blood, in their DNA. They act because they must. Nothing else satisfies them and fills them up the way getting on stage or in front of a camera does.

If your child is in a local theater group, trying out for the school play, looking at actors on TV and saying, “I want to do that! How do I do that?” then you know that they are passionate about acting.

Is That Passion Consistent? 

Most children tell their parents, “I want to be on TV,” or “I want to be an actor,” at least once in their childhood, because, after all, acting seems like a fun game of make-believe. What child doesn’t love that? However, acting is a challenging business that requires hard work and sacrifice. It’s important to evaluate the consistency of your child’s passion. Is it just a passing interest or something deeper? 

When your child constantly talks about performing or wanting to be on a TV show or in movies, you can tell that they’re very interested in acting. If they mention it once or just in passing, their level of interest might not be sufficient to lead to success in the long term. As you’re evaluating your child’s level of interest in performing, don’t just listen to what they’re saying, but watch what they’re doing. If your child is doing some of the following things, it might indicate that acting is their dream:

• Auditioning for the school play

• Trying out for community theater

• Making up skits and performing for friends and family

• Asking for additional opportunities to act and audition

• Asking for an agent

• Getting excited at the prospect of taking an acting class

• Searching for opportunities to act and bringing them to you, especially as a teenager These indicate that your child’s interest in acting isn’t just a passing phase but a genuine interest and passion.

4 Reasons Young Actors Must Embrace Rejection

Like most skills, dealing with rejection takes practice, and show business is the best place to train for it! There are many things that make this a tough industry, but the steep competition is one of the biggest. No one likes being passed over, left out, or told they are not “right.” Still, competition is a fact of life and the better we are at handling rejection, the easier it will be to stay competitive as we grow up. Here are some tips to help guide your young performer as he faces his fears and hears no after giving it his best.

1. Perspective. Auditions are big unknowns. You walk into the room with basic information and sometimes little context. All you can be is your unique self. Your job is to go for it! Do your best, don’t worry about what you don’t know, and then go home happy. One way to do that is to understand that some things are out of your control. This is a creative business that has little to do with concrete rules. Casting directors have a number of criteria for each part they are casting, such as age, height, weight, sex, ethnicity, or type. Sometimes, young actors even need to resemble on-set family members who were already cast! It is not personal. The truth is, no matter how talented and amazing a performer might be, the choice is often based on arbitrary traits. Let your child know that the important thing is to do his personal best and enjoy the process. 

2. Statistics. There may be hundreds of actors answering the call for an audition, yet only one will be cast. The odds are not great. Every actor faces the same daunting odds, and the likelihood of rejection. That means you have to go on hundreds of auditions for every one you land. Each no gets you that much closer to the time when you hear yes. The important thing to remember is that success comes from those who keep going, don’t give up, and continue with confidence. 

3. Resilience. Every time we try something, we risk failure. No matter what it is, the next step is the same. Try again! Resilience is a life lesson that actors learn to accept and embrace because it is so critical to their way of life. Praise your child’s efforts, hard work, and the courage they show every time they perform. If they get caught up in second-guessing themselves, acknowledge their concerns and let them know you can relate. Share some things that you learned from your own past “failures.” Teach them that reviewing the past can be helpful as long as it is framed in a positive way. There are lots of clichés about resilience that may be helpful at times of rejection, such as, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going,” and “What defines us is how quickly we get up after falling.” Keep in mind that failures are full of insights! Make it a game to hunt for one or two nuggets of wisdom that will give your child greater confidence in the future. Celebrate the day’s achievements with a fun treat like pizza, ice cream, or a movie!

4. Perseverance. Ask a group of people to define success, and you will get many answers, but every list will include hard work. Hard work is more effective than smarts, looks, money, and talent all put together, because you and only you can make it happen. If you think about only the end goal, it might seem impossible to reach from here. The trick is to start small and persevere. With one small step after another, we make progress. Over time, the results from your efforts will grow. By participating in show business, young performers learn that their dreams may not come easily. They see firsthand that they need to work long and hard in order to succeed. Because they are doing something they love, they are motivated to study the music, memorize their lines, book the auditions, and do it again until they find the right role for them.

The very fact that show business is tough means that kids who pursue their passion for performance will gain valuable life skills. They will take chances by auditioning and face the rejections that come. Given the random nature of this creative field and the odds against landing each role, kids learn to keep things in perspective and not take “failure” personally. With hard work, kids will grow and improve, which empowers them to tackle challenges in all areas of life. Learn to embrace rejection and you will ultimately grow stronger, more confident, and more successful as a result.

6 Skills That Separate Novice Actors From Pros

In many fields and careers, there are different levels of credentials, like associate, professional, master, etc. In acting, we talk about novices, actors who are just beginning, and professionals, actors who have training and experience working in the industry.

I teach my students how to act and audition like a professional, even if they’re still at the novice level of experience. Use these audition tips, no matter what level of experience you have, and you’ll garner more attention and have a better chance of being hired. Even if you don’t get the part, you’ll have at least made a positive impression.

1. Make choices.
More often than not, you won’t have the entire script while auditioning, nor will you know exactlywhat the CD and director want from you. Not the easiest scenario, but one that means you will need to make choices about how you play the character. What is she thinking? What is he feeling? Don’t worry about being right or wrong—just make a choice in each moment, trust yourself, and go with it.

2. Keep the scene active.
Acting is doing, not talking. When choosing monologues and picking songs, find pieces that are active, not passive. Narratives usually don’t have much action, so scenes where a character is doing something—like breaking up with a girlfriend or convincing their friend to skip school—are far more exciting than telling a story about it.

3. Acting is reacting.  
I see many novice actors who believe acting only happens when speaking dialogue. What about when someone doesn’t say anything? Does that mean they aren’t feeling something? No, of course they are. When someone is speaking to you, there must be a reaction. Otherwise, you aren’t listening. Be sure to focus on both your speaking and reactions to the other lines in the script.

4. Make the decision before doing.  
I recall working on a dramatic scene with some young actresses who were auditioning for the lead role in a television show. There was a key moment in the scene when the character lies to her mother. A novice would just tell the lie when the line comes up. A professional actor knows to take a moment before speaking where she decides to lie.

5. Find the moment before and moment after.  
The scene begins before your first line and ends after the last line. Find your moment before and be ready well before the first line of dialogue. Know your character’s emotional state and tap into it before speaking. This concept holds true at the end of the scene as well. The scene doesn’t stop on the last line. It ends with your reaction after the last line is spoken, whether it’s your line or another character’s.

6. Develop quiet confidence. 
As I say to my students all the time, only confident actors get hired. However, there is a difference between quiet and cocky confidence. Know your talent and strengths and own the room, but do it with humility. No one likes a know-it-all. When you leave the audition room, you want the creative team to say, “Stop that actor and bring him back. He’s the one I want.”

In acting, there’s no substitute for experience. It takes practice and training to become a professional, as well as time and maturity. But by acting like a pro every time you audition, you will have made a mark and hopefully earn a callback, or even the role.

How To Help Your Child Actor Have a Fun and Productive Summer

I like to think of time in four ways – my time, your time, together time, and down time. My child needs empowering, fun, and enriching activities to help her grow and learn independence. I need “me” time whether I am working or relaxing. Together time as a family, including vacations and activities at home, is equally important – especially since our kids are grown and out of the house before we know it. We all lead busy lives so building in downtime is crucial to prevent burn out.

Most school-aged children have eight to ten weeks of summer break. This can either be a blessing or a curse depending on your child’s individual needs and personality. I know my own children benefit from structure. However, as much as I would like them to keep busy, they remind me they need downtime too. For example, seven weeks of sleep-away camp is too much time away from home for my teenage daughter, so we found a program where she goes for four weeks and gets to come home on the weekends. This arrangement works beautifully for our family. I had never heard of this kind of camp schedule before, but I am grateful I found it. The point is that there are lots of options, so you should be able to find something that is just right for your family.

Your Child’s Time
Does your child love to act and want to train? During the school year, he might get really bogged down with auditions and homework. During the summer, maybe he would enjoy something like my upcoming four-day acting boot-camp. Something like this can be a great way for these young performers to get back to basics with improvisation, learning a new monologue, and perfecting their audition technique for TV and film. Or perhaps your child has a musical bent. I am also collaborating with my colleagues in voice and casting offering one-day musical theater workshops culminating with a performance in a landmark cabaret club. I personally love shorter workshops such as these because they give both my students and me the flexibility to fit in many other life enhancing activities that help create balance.

Your Time
While planning out your summer schedule, don’t forget about you – the parent. Our tendency is to put so much emphasis on the many wonderful opportunities available for our children that we sometimes forget our own needs. While your child is either away from home or in a daily program, you may want to consider learning a new skill yourself. How about some yoga and meditation? I recently spent a weekend at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health and came back rejuvenated and inspired! Maybe learning to paint or dance is more your thing. Just do something to take care of yourself so you can be the best you can be for your child and your family.

Together Time
Planning a vacation or “staycation?” Summer is a great time to check out theater and concerts in your local parks for the entire family to enjoy. There are also plenty of online sites that offer discount vacation packages last minute. Whatever you decide, the most important thing is doing things together.

Down Time
Burned out on too much theater? Perhaps a week of something physical like tennis or soccer camp is what your child needs to get away from it all and stretch a few new muscles. What about doing nothing? This is a concept very foreign to me, but I am trying to find time to do more and more of it. My child needs it. I need it. And together we all need it to lead calmer, more serene and peaceful lives.

There are many kinds of summer camp programs available for your children – typically ranging from one day to several weeks in length. Taking into account these different segments of time and your family’s specific needs will help you plan your summer wisely, have fun, and stay sane all at the same time.

1 Exercise Child Actors Can Use to Get Into Character

Acting is “living truthfully under imaginary circumstances,” as one of the great contemporary acting teachers, Sanford Meisner, would say. Most people understand that acting involves pretending to be someone you are not, but it is a lot easier if you are personally connected to the character’s situation, with an understanding of the reality being portrayed. So, how does a child (who has had fewer years to collect experiences) gain the perspective and insight needed to truthfully act out situations he or she has never faced?

When I work with young actors who need help relating to something their character is experiencing that is unfamiliar to them, I use the “as if” exercise also known as the “magic if” technique taught by famed actor, director, and teacher Konstantin Stanislavsky. This exercise is employed to help students understand the reality of a character’s life and circumstances. 

When preparing to play a scene that is about something they never confronted before and which may seem foreign to them, I ask my students to answer the following two questions:

1. How would you feel if this were happening to you?

2. When the character faces this situation, what similar situation could you have faced in the past or imagine to be true that would feel as if you were going through the same thing?

First, thinking about the scene as if it is happening to you helps you imagine standing in the character’s shoes. The other day, for example, I had a student who was faced with a character whose parents are getting divorced, but she didn’t have any examples of divorce in her life. I asked her, “How would you feel if your parents were divorcing?” This requires imagination to answer and sometimes confidence to try. It can be hard for children to identify with some challenging situations if they find it is too scary to consider going through themselves. This exercise helps them relate without over-relating because they are consciously working through it. 

Another young actor’s character had to annoy her older brother in an audition scene for a film. In real life she has no siblings so I had her act  as if her annoying little cousin, whom she told me about, was bothering her. 

When young actors cannot put themselves in the character’s shoes directly, the “as if” exercise helps them find parallel situations in their own lives to aid them in relating via another perspective. I have the kids ask, “ ‘Situation A’ to the character is as if ‘what’ to me?” They usually find common ground in memories of the same emotions affecting them—pride, fear, anger, love, grief, hilarity, hurt, embarrassment. 

For example, if the character is mourning his father’s death, young actors can search their minds for times of loss and grief in their own lives. Maybe flushing their dead goldfish down the toilet was sad, but not sad enough to elicit the pain and sorrow a character would feel at the loss of his father. What about when Fido died after a car accident and the young actor had to say goodbye to his lifelong companion? That could do the trick. Being able to recall the appropriate feelings from your own life is essential for relating to your character’s inner truth during the scene. Having the ability to re-experience those feelings on cue is what lends authenticity to your performance. Perhaps a young actor has no prior experience with an emotion (which is true for many kids). This is where imagining something to be true will resonate. You may be pretending to be someone else, but you can’t fake the feelings.

Young performers are often asked to portray characters in situations that they just have not faced yet in their lives. By using the “as if” exercise described above, kids have a great tool to help them relate and, ultimately, act as if they know the truth of any moment.

3 Essential Traits Child Actors Need to Succeed

Show business is glamorous to the outside observer. It is exciting, exhilarating, and draws people who dream of living in that world into the footlights or studio from all walks. Insiders, however, know it is a lot of hard work and not everyone is cut out for it. How do you know if your child has what it takes to succeed? Here are three necessary traits that all successful performers in the industry have in common.

Passion. There is no doubt when young performers get bit by the acting, singing, and dancing bug that they are excited about it! It’s fun! Everyone will see their talent. Their friends will be jealous. The rewards will be fabulous! The question is whether this thrill will last. Is it rooted in a true passion for the craft? Look for the evidence. A child who is truly passionate about performing will be driven to exist in that world above all else. Sports? No thanks, I want to train with my voice coach. Spend Saturday at the mall? No way! I have acting class! Take a cruise during Spring Break? Isn’t there a performing arts program where I can try out for a musical during that vacation? It is this love affair with performing that is the whole reason for getting into the business. There is no substitute.

Dedication. Show business does not notice people with a passing interest in performing. A child needs to be committed to learning, practicing, and developing her talent above all other interests. There is a lot of competition and many talented people vying for attention, so each child will need to work hard and drive his own progress forward. This commitment means a child looks for opportunities to pursue her craft, getting involved in school productions, and community theater. He may be asking for a manager or agent, not waiting for someone else to suggest it. Your child will be memorizing her lines during her free time rather than playing Xbox or surfing the web. The mere thought of being late to acting class keeps her motivated to do her chores and homework on time. It would not be a struggle to get him to focus and do the work needed to memorize his monologue or nail his dance routine because he loves it. The work gets done.

Resilience. Everyone faces rejection in show business. While it may take some time to adjust to it, the experience of being told “no” is valuable. A performer can’t quit when things become challenging. He has to go out the next day and try another audition. And another. No one is right for all roles, and there are infinite reasons why one does or does not get cast. It is not personal. Understanding this is necessary to learning persistence. Courage, confidence, and resilience are needed every step of the way.

Pursuing a career in the performing arts is a tough road! Talent and skill are important, but they are not enough. It takes hard work over a long period of time to break through, so you have to be industrious. There are many disappointments before every triumph, so you have to have faith that the work will pay off. You keep pushing forward because you believe that success is right through the next door you open. All of these things together create the engine for success, and passion is the fuel that propels you forward.

9 Lessons ‘Dear Evan Hansen’ Can Teach Everyone

Last month, I took a group of my students and their parents to a performance of “Dear Evan Hansen.” When the curtain came down, every single one of us was flooded with emotions—there wasn’t a dry eye amongst us.

Without giving anything away, “Dear Evan Hansen” is a musical about a teen who feels invisible, but through a tragedy and a misunderstanding, finally starts to know what it’s like to fit in, to belong. The themes are universal and all too close to home for many. As one mother in our group stated, “We’ve all felt left out, lost, and alone at some point in our lives.”

After the moving theatrical experience we all had, I wanted to share what my students and parents took away from those hours in the theater. Regardless of whether you are an actor, parent, or civilian, no matter your age, gender, or religion, there are great life lessons to be learned from “Dear Evan Hansen.”

As an actor….

1. Be the character.
The show was believable because it was so real. These were real people having real experiences, not fabricated performances. The characters weren’t just being portrayed, they were living within the skin of the actor onstage.

2. Find the humor.
How can something as intense as a show about suicide be funny? Part of it is obviously the writing, but much of it relies on the actors. Throughout the show, Will Roland (in the role of Jared) and Kristolyn Lloyd (as Alana) used adept comic timing to make a serious subject real and tolerable. Just like life, we use humor to deal with pain.

3. Be vulnerable.
As actors, we’re taught to be vulnerable, a hard concept for many actors in training. But Ben Platt’s performance is a beautiful example of the power of being vulnerable. He offers himself totally and completely to the character of Evan Hansen. As the audience, we saw his insides, his raw emotion, and we’ll never forget it.

4. Allow silence.
When it comes to acting, it’s often the silence that has a greater impact than words. There is a moment in the show when the character of Evan is silent for what seems like an eternity, both to him and the audience. It’s uncomfortable, but we feel his anxiety and pain beyond what words could ever convey.

5. Make it original.
After countless stereotypical high school musicals with cheery dance numbers and sappy love songs, “Dear Evan Hansen” offers something wholly original and refreshing. We’re not watching a revival or a clone of something we’ve already seen. This is something new, something we’ve never seen before, and the energy and excitement is palpable.

READ: How Rachel Bay Jones Gives Her All to ‘Dear Evan Hansen’

As a human ….

6. Stay authentic.
Tell the truth. Don’t hide behind what you think others want you to be. “In a world of growing social media presence—which ‘Dear Evan Hansen’ portrays beautifully—we are constantly attempting to portray who we want everyone to think we are,” said 24-year-old Kevin Johnson, a member of our group that day.

“In reality, and even as a social media strategist, I find that authenticity gives the most positive and engaged feedback…. Students and adults alike need to know that being themselves is how we survive as people and that we do so by being honest with the most important person in our lives: ourselves.”

7. Stay aware.
Think about how social media affects us both negatively and positively. We often think we’re connecting with others virtually—more followers equals more friends, right? But in reality, spending all day with our heads in a computer or phone can mean that we’re actually disconnecting from the people around us. Make an effort to stay present.

8. Be relatable.
In the song “Waving Through A Window,” the lyrics begin, “On the outside always looking in, will I be more than I’ve always been?” This is the first introduction to Evan as someone who feels like he’s standing outside of something, never part of something.

“The words were such a powerful trigger, immediately triggering a thought that I was watching myself as a struggling teen in my darkest days,” said a 17-year-old student. The feeling was mutual for parents in the group: “As a mom, it also made me feel that same powerlessness of the two mothers on stage as they tried to deal with their sons’ pain and loneliness. There is nothing worse than being in the dark, unable to help.”

9. Embrace the imperfect.
Real life rarely ends with a big Hollywood flourish where everyone is happy and everything works out. Life is hard as lessons get learned and experience grows. This is reflected beautifully in “Dear Evan Hansen.” The show ends the way something so real, raw, and reflective should.

While the show is currently the darling of Broadway with its powerhouse cast, brilliant score, lyrics, and moving book, Dear Evan Hansen is profound on a personal and professional level. Run, don’t walk! This is a must-see for every theatre goer.

“It’s important to remind ourselves, young and old, that we must be our true, authentic selves. ‘You are you’ rings throughout [the show],” as Johnson reminds us. “I not only thought, ‘it is so vital for students to hear this,’ but also, ‘I needed this myself.”

How to Be the Best Advocate for Your Child Actor

As the parent of a rising star, you may be wondering how you can be the very best parent for a child who wants to perform. Whether your child stars in a movie or a local community theater production, there are things you can to do foster and support their dreams of performing.

If your child doesn’t have an agent or manager, you can help them find opportunities to act on their own. Encourage them to seek out online sources and trade magazines like Backstage, and to talk to other kids in the business. Remember: an actor has to act; it’s not enough to just dream about it. So support and encourage them in school and community outlets.

Since acting opportunities are limited, you may want to help your child find other ways to get their “fix.” Enroll them in an ongoing weekly acting class where they will learn about the craft, forge relationships with other young actors, and begin to network. This is a collaborative art and their young classmates today will be their coworkers tomorrow.

If your child is lucky enough to land a role, there will come a time when it has to end. There will also be dry spells between jobs. Learn how to help your child (and yourself) cope. I’ve had many students in touring productions which last anywhere from six months to a year and there’s always a letdown when it’s over and the child must return to a “regular” lifestyle. It is important to arm yourself with tools to help them through this process.

Acting is a family business when young performers are involved. From your other children to your marriage to your personal relationships, everyone is affected. A happy and healthy home environment will help your child actor reach their personal best. Of the hundreds of children, teens, and parents I’ve worked with over the years, the kids who thrive are the ones with parents who are great role models.

READ: 12 Terms Parents of Child Actors Need to Know

When your child is blessed with talent and a desire to act, sing, dance, and entertain, it’s a gift. By taking care of yourself and educating yourself about the entertainment industry while learning from seasoned industry pros, you’ll be a wise and supportive guide for your child.

Being the parent of a child actor is challenging. But you don’t have to do it alone. Talk to a life coach, therapist, or gather together with other parents who can offer support.

This fall, I’ll be leading parent advocacy groups in person and via phone for parents of child actors. Learn how to assemble and communicate effectively with your team, find performing opportunities for your child, educate yourself on unions, discuss ways to help your child cope with rejection, get support in how to handle your child’s disappointments, and how to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually to be the best parent you can be.

There will be many teachable moments in your child’s acting career that will help them grow into a remarkable adult. It starts with you!