Kids are amazing. The way their brains work, the clever insights they have, the way they organize their thoughts. It never gets old and it is the biggest reason I have been able to remain so passionate about this industry for many years! Now, I talk to a lot of parents who are worried about involving their kids in the performing arts industry. And I get that, it's a scary business to get involved with and as we have mentioned so many times before, it is a business and it can be scary to expose your child to that, especially if they are very young or in a formative part of their development. But what I continue to tell parents over and over is that there are so so so many benefits to your child being involved in the arts! You are so lucky you have a child with a passion- a reason to get up in the morning. I have worked with students for over 30 years and for this business being so inconsistent, I can confidently tell you that some of the most successful and confident adults were the children I taught as child actors.
So many former child actors have not ended up acting but have become uber successful adults in their professions, in and out of the business. Some have become casting directors, producers, directors,writers, stage hands. And many have transitioned out of the entertainment industry entirely as chefs, teachers, entrepreneurs. What they all have in common is they are successful in what they are doing now. And all because of the life lessons learned while pursuing a business as a child.
But why is this the case? There are COUNTLESS life lessons and skills you can learn from being a child actor.
1. Following Their Dream and Passion
Acting is hard work. It demands time, talent, and constant learning.
If your child is passionate about acting, they will have the experience of mixing that passion with hard work, a skill that will serve them all their life.
When a new student comes to me and says they want to act because they want to make money or be famous, I worry that they don’t have the passion to sustain an acting career. The kids who make it in this business are those who are so passionate about playing roles or entertaining others that they don’t feel like doing anything else.
Giving your child the opportunity to dream and taking concrete steps to make that dream a reality is a powerful gift.
2. Being Present in the Moment
Sanford Meisner, one of the greatest acting teachers of the twentieth century, defines acting as “living truthfully under imaginary circumstances.” This is what I teach actors – to be present and in the moment. Learning how to be here, now, is an important lesson in life. Acting is really about listening and being honest. If your child is distracted – worrying about their audition, what will happen in the future if they get the role, or how their hair looks – they will not be able to be present and listen.
So much of our lives are wasted in worrying about the future or regret about the past. Acting teaches children and parents to stay focused in the present moment, because things can change so rapidly: productions get delayed, scripts change, the lead has the flu and suddenly the understudy is going on stage. So many things are out of your control. Learning to stay calm and centered in a shifting environment is empowering for children and parents alike.Being present is not always an easy skill to master, but just imagine your child as an adult who can maintain their composure no matter what is going on around them. You can help your child learn this important life skill and perhaps gain more of it yourself.
3. Developing the Resilience to Manage Rejection
Rejection is a given in the entertainment industry. Most of the time it’s not personal. Your child might not have the right hair color or height, or the director was crabby and just didn’t like anyone that day. When your child becomes an actor, they will experience rejection frequently.
Experiencing rejection teaches children that rejection stings and is disappointing, but is not the end of the world.
I teach my students that failure is their friend. It helps them learn to evaluate their actions to see if they could have been more prepared, and to accept that though they were not selected today, tomorrow will bring new opportunities.
Life is not always fair or easy; the auditioning process teaches this clearly, which builds confidence. When your child learns that getting what they want takes effort and perseverance, they will become a more courageous and confident person.
Of course it’s hard for a parent to see their child face rejection. It’s very hard. You can be a great mentor for your child during times of rejection by listening, helping them stay optimistic about future opportunities, and helping them find the good in every outcome.
4. Mastering Social Skills. This life lesson benefits every child. Acting requires many social skills including communication, collaboration, improvisation, professionalism, stress management, and confidence. Kids are just developing these skills, so no one expects them to be perfect. However, only actors with confidence get hired. Your child will develop confidence as they learn to step out of their comfort zone and try new things, whether on stage, in sports, or in the community. Confidence comes from knowing that you have skills and abilities. Each time your child masters a new acting skill, does well in an audition, or has a productive conversation with an agent or casting director, they gain more confidence.
Acting fosters social skills at every turn. Your child will experience many different personalities on stage or on set. They’ll have the opportunity to learn how to ask for help, take direction, respond to feedback, and think on their feet when someone forgets a line or a prop goes missing. They’ll continually be asked to try new things and they’ll learn how to recover from disappointments. All these experiences will help your child develop maturity and confidence, which they will carry with them into adulthood. Later in the book you’ll read interviews with former child actors. All of them mention confidence as one of the greatest benefits of performing.
5. Learning Public Speaking
Public speaking is one of the most common fears limiting adults. Making a wedding toast, presenting a business proposal, and speaking up at a PTA meeting all require the ability to communicate effectively and confidently in front of others. Performing will erase this fear for your child. They’ll enter adulthood feeling comfortable speaking in any setting, which can lead to career success in many fields including business, teaching, public relations, politics, and the media.
6. Brain-Building
Acting requires memorization, reading fluently and with high comprehension, and often reading music. It also requires critical thinking, creativity, and problem-solving skills. All of these skills enhance academic performance.
Your child does not have to be a genius to act, but many children who participate in acting achieve academic success later in life. I remember working with All My Children’s Eden Riegel and observing her academic potential. It was no surprise to me that she was accepted at Harvard.
All child actors in the US are required by law to continue their education. They have homework just like other kids, but have less time for study, which means they need to develop focus and time-management skills, which fosters effective planning skills.
7. Growing Self-Discipline
Self-discipline is one of the most valuable life skills acting teaches. Being an actor demands a lot from a child. There must be time for homework, memorizing lines, acting classes, perhaps classes in singing or dance, auditions, rehearsals, performances, sports and fitness, friends, family, and for just being a kid on top of all that. All those demands require a child to be accountable, prioritize, set boundaries, say no, and reassess their priorities over time. For example, a child might focus heavily on auditioning in the spring and summer but say no to opportunities in the fall so they can play on their school soccer team. During the teen years they might want to decrease travel time so they can have a traditional high school experience, or they might want to get their GED so they can spend more time acting.
Child actors work in an adult business and are expected to be professional, show up on time, be prepared, have a good attitude, and work well with others. When they are young you will need to help them with time-management and self-discipline. However, as they age it is essential that they take more responsibility for themselves. When children have this opportunity, they develop the independence and self-discipline that will help them navigate the adult world successfully. They enter the adult workforce with maturity, a strong work ethic, and the ability to make wise choices. Just imagine the edge that provides!
8. Conquering Perfectionism
Our world teaches kids that they must be perfect, look a certain way, and compare themselves to others. Have you noticed that movies, television shows, and plays are full of quirky and interesting-looking people? Each child has a unique look and personality that will win them roles more easily than if they pretend they’re something they’re not. I remind my students that “to compare leads to despair.”
When I was a teen actor, I tried to be someone I wasn’t. I had thick, curly hair that I used to iron to try to match the other girls I thought were prettier than I was. All teens have that experience of trying to fit into the crowd. But in acting, your quirks and unique looks are assets, which means acting truthfully. A child can’t learn to act truthfully if they are worried about their hair or a blemish on their chin. If a role requires skill in gymnastics, and your child can’t turn a somersault, they’ll learn that this opportunity wasn’t for them, but that the next one might just be ideal.
Your child will also learn that it is okay to make mistakes. Everyone forgets a line, sings off key, or muffs an audition. Sometimes an error becomes the best part of an audition because it allows the director to assess how the child recovers and thinks on their feet. Directors know they are working with children who are still developing; perfection is not required. Personality and passion are.
9. Managing Expectations
Your child will learn that there are things they can control and others they can’t. They can control how prepared they are, what food they eat, their physical fitness, and whether they get enough sleep or show up with bags under their eyes after a night of partying. They can’t control if they will be selected for a particular role, how tall they become, or when their voice will change. Knowing the difference between what you can control and what you can’t is a valuable life lesson with many applications in the adult world.
Another component of managing expectations is learning what is expected of you and speaking up if something makes you feel uncomfortable or is beyond your ability. If a role requires a British dialect and your child is not proficient at that, they will not do well in that role. Some parts include profanity, which can be uncomfortable for many children. It is important for a child to learn how to communicate their abilities and needs clearly. This skill develops over time. You’ll be asked to speak for your young child; however, as they grow older, give them the opportunity to speak for themselves and watch them grow more confident.
10. Gaining Exposure to the World
You can’t always learn in the classroom what you can out in the world. A national tour or a tour in Asia where you can try new foods, see a different culture, and have adventures that the average second-grader doesn’t experience. Whether your child acts locally or on a world stage, they will meet fascinating people and encounter a diverse set of experiences that will expand their world-view and their understanding of other cultures.
11. Empathy and Emotional Intelligence
When your child assumes a role, they will learn to step into another person’s shoes and experience their feelings. Great acting is fueled by the emotional connection between the actor and the character as well as the actor and the audience. Your child will naturally become more empathic and understanding of others’ emotional experiences as they take on different parts.
12. Transferable Skills
Regardless of what career your young actor decides to pursue in adulthood, the life lessons learned in acting transfer and enhance their professional success. Your child will naturally learn to tell a story, to think on their feet, to appear confident even when nervous, and to work collaboratively. Every one of the life lessons presented in this book help shape your child into a confident and successful adult, and transfer to any career pathway.
As you can see, there is more to acting than just the fun of being on stage. For children with a passion for it, acting provides enduring life lessons and wonderful memories. One of the most important things you can do to support your child is reinforce these life lessons. There will be many teachable moments in your child’s acting career that will help them grow into a remarkable adult.
As long as you are encouraging and supporting your child to fearlessly pursue their dreams, I promise you will end up with an adult that is brave, proud, passionate, composed, strong, and powerful.
